ABSTRACT Objective The aim of this study was to describe the experience of contact with formal psychiatric care, as narrated by family members of a person suffering from mental illness. Method The study was based on a qualitative design. Focus-groups with 16 family members were transcribed and interpreted using qualitative content analysis. Findings The findings present four themes; being disappointed with formal psychiatric care, being in need of understanding from and collaboration with formal psychiatric care, being positive about the care and the own contribution to the care and being subjected to preconceived ideas. The findings were interpreted as the families� relationship with formal psychiatric care being characterized by a struggle for power. Conclusion To create a healthy situation for the families and thereby improve the situation for the patient, representatives of formal care should carefully consider how the families should be involved. Key words Family, focus groups, mental health, nursing, qualitative research